When I got to my grandmother’s today, she presented me with a selection of traditional remedies including one that my mother translated as being for kung fu practitioners. Sweet. After a couple hours of application, it made sense- I was feeling no pain. I could get kicked, punched and whacked with a stick all day long and I was good to go as long as I had a few of these patches on. (She later re-translated it as something more along the lines of, “for holistic healing practices”. Shucks.)

So what’s wrong with no pain, you might ask. Well, I don’t consider myself a masochist, but I believe that pain exists for a reason. A bunch of reasons, actually, but one I really appreciate is the way it tells me how close my body is to working correctly again. It may be the control freak in me- when I don’t get that feedback when I’m supposed to, I start to worry. Like playing with a loose tooth, I am fascinated by seeing how far I can nudge that line of discomfort before my body tells me, ‘Hey, dummy! Stop it!’ I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way and isn't in therapy. Right?

In any case, as we did in issue 7, here’s the breakdown:

Remedy: Tienchi Huo Luo Bruise Analgesic Plaster (one of many brands of ‘plaster’)
Ailment: (from the packaging) Rheumatic pains, Muscular Aches, Sciatica, Lumbago Backache, Neuralgia, Bruise & sprain
Origin: Chinese
Directions: Cut to size, peel and stick, when they’re done, they fall off by themselves
Smell factor: none, but these were a few years old (full-strength must be incredible)
Effective?: Maybe a little too effective. Like something out of a William Gibson novel, these ‘derms’ make you feel a little detached from your body. ••••o (4 out of 5 stars)

Plaster- not just for house construction anymore. (price is in HK$)

The application- looks like fruit roll-ups, feels like Vicodin.